This is so embarrassing.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Dear Mike and Tammy,

I wanted to apologize for the other night. Alicia and I were thrilled to have you over, but I can’t help but feel like I put a damper on the evening. It was my first real “double date” and I just, well. I blew it.

First, I don’t know what I was thinking when you arrived. Tammy, when you came in for a hug, I just came in way too hot and went for this chest bump thing. I mean like a real, boom-shakalaka chest bump. It was actually pretty sweet. That’s why I started doing…


What’s that? I’m sorry I can’t hear you through my 9-inch thick Venetian Marble walls. Did you ask when I got them? Ah, well, I had them installed last summer while I was vacationing in —

Sorry? Oh, you were saying something about raising the minimum wage! Heh, how embarrassing! Well, you shouldn’t be too embarrassed, although most people do ask when I got these beautiful barriers.

Yes, the minimum wage. Say again? Adjusted for inflation minimum wage is worth less than it was 50 years ago? Yes, I do see how that could be an issue. I mean, we…

Jonny Shapiro

Jonny is a writer living in Chicago. When he’s not in the pits of Corporate America, he can be found at a bar somewhere.

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